Originally published at ScottHowell.ws. You can comment here or there.

A few days ago I celebrated my 26th birthday. Twenty six is not a huge milestone in some respects, but it was my first birthday as a married man. Overall the birthday went well. I selfishly decided not to tell anybody at work as I don’t enjoy all the pomp and circumstance that comes with all of that. Lindsey did meet me for lunch and later that evening we had the delicious cake pictured above at LifeGroup. The festivities concluded the following evening at my parents where we went out for dinner. Fun times were had all around.

With every birthday that comes and goes it’s a quick chance to look back at your life and also take a glimpse of what the future might hold. For us, I think the future holds many great things. As the subject of this post reads, we (being Lindsey & I) have strongly put forth this notion to listen to God’s calling and live out our lives for Him and not for ourselves. In my last post I really stressed the impact certain decisions or lack thereof is affecting us in our daily lives. The biggest challenge that has been getting in the way is our focus being so much on ourselves and figuring out our game plan for life. We have felt for so long that we need to be in complete control and set a definite timeline for how we want things to work out. It has become so important for us that all of our goose eggs are in a row before we make any other decision. God is challenging us in these areas by telling us to throw it all away and  to stop worrying.  We just need to live our lives with our sole focus being Him and believing that He will provide.

It’s quite challenging and sometimes frightening. Actually trusting God is a huge step in faith. We can go to church every week and read the Bible daily, but it means nothing when you’ve reached a point where you are being tested and you can’t take that extra step that reaffirms your faith. Do you really believe? If you did, you would think it wouldn’t be so difficult.

We’re getting there. I hope we can make the jump.

Originally published at ScottHowell.ws. You can comment here or there.

I’m trying to understand today why sometimes it is hard for myself to make certain decisions in my life that I know are right (even ones I think I’m being called to), yet I choose to make no decision at all.  Nothing positive ever comes out of my non-action. I just sit around wondering what could have been and how terrible off I am by not making the decision I chose not to make in the first place. By not making the decision I remain in some strange pseudo-state of comfortableness because I’m not having to deal with the positive or negative impacts of the future decision. 

It’s quite a common problem for me. I freak out about the unknown sometimes and would rather mope around than make a change. Why I continue in such a cycle is beyond me as it’s such a frustrating way to live. I’m making some strives in these areas though as I realize that if I really want my life to mean anything more than ordinary, I need to stop this ridiculous habit. Lindsey likes to remind me, “If you aren’t going to do anything about it, you’re not allowed to talk about it”.

I hate not talking about it. That’s worse than not making the decision. So usually I give in eventually, but usually at a loss of some sort of opportunity big or small. What is this feeling? Is it my laziness? Is it actually sin? Maybe it’s my own selfishness of enjoying the self-pity I try to draw from my own wife.

Mostly it’s fear of change. I pray tonight that God helps me get over this problem because I need to start making some big decisions at some point – the kind you just can’t run away from. They’ll catch up with you eventually.

Do you suffer from the same problem as I do?  Post here and let me know.

Originally published at ScottHowell.ws. You can comment here or there.

After well over a year of neglecting my livejournal blog, I believe that the time has come to begin journaling again. With that said, tonight I’m happy to premiere my new website here at ScottHowell.ws! Though my web domain has been pointing to my LJ account for quite some time, this new webpage is proudly hosted on the MKO server and Powered by Wordpress. I really hope you enjoy the new design of the website and I do plan to add things as I go along. Currently all of my old content is now in place, so feel free to look around.

Before I get into what I’ve been up to for the last year, I wanted to explain my purpose for blogging again. Though I’m happy I’ve blogged throughout the last seven years I think I’m in a time of my life where there’s not much point in me rambling along about my daily life and routines. I want this blog to have a purpose and I plan to utilize it as a tool to reach out to others and bring up specific issues in my life that I’m experiencing with or working through. More specifically, my Christian walk that has grown very strong in the last three years. I don’t intend or want to preach to anyone on this site, but I will speak from the heart on how God has impacted my life. One of my talents I feel God has given me is to write and I think the gift is best suited by sharing some of these stories, struggles, and accomplishments with all of you. Whatever your religious background is, all I ask is that you read with an open mind into the type of life style I now lead and consider the truth for yourself.

So, what’s new in my life? Lots. On October 18th, 2008 I married my beautiful wife Lindsey Howell. She has been the greatest gift of all in my life and we have continued to cherish a happy, healthy marriage in this nine month or so run. It’s been an interesting but fun adjustment into the world of wedlock and I’m thankful for every moment. Lindsey and I are so blessed to have so many close friends and family who love and care for us. Currently we are both working full time in our respective jobs in Marketing and Accounting, but still are able to find the balance to spend time with each other and enjoy each others company.

As for our church family, we regularly attend NewLife Community Church in Canal Winchester, OH. This is where we had our wedding ceremony and where we’ve been regulars (and now recent members) for the last 3 years. Growing up Catholic, the change of attending a more modern non-denominational setting has been an incredible transition. During the week on Thursdays we also attend LifeGroup with the Noffsinger family, which is a weekly bible study with other friends of NewLife. On Wednesdays you will also find Lindsey and I at either our home or two close friend’s for another bible study that has been taking place the last few years nicknamed “The Fellowship”. The groups are dynamically different, but both challenging and rewarding in our constant walk with Christ.

In other areas of our lives, you will always find I am a tech enthusiast at heart. I spend a lot of my time catching up on the latest tech news or listening to the latest podcasts over at Twit.tv. I love computers and basically anything else that has a chip in it. Though we have a few nice gadgets and gizmos in our apartment we do try to save as much money as possible. This kind of passion mostly came from my wife as she is an accountant. Though with her push we’ve been able to pay off all of our credit cards, cars, loans, and now remain debt-free! Having that freedom from debt has really helped us enjoy life and has allowed us keep a calm mind in times of stress.

Other than that, it’s really all we’ve been up to. If you want to know more about me or my wife please feel free to visit my Facebook page which is listed on the sidebar to the right. As I end, I do invite you to come back and join in on the conversations I hope will flourish from this blog. With that, good night and thanks for visiting!

I am very relieved that the play is over. But that is not a negative feeling by any stretch of the imagination. I'm quite sad that it has ended. However, I guess this production beat me up quite a bit as I was sick for just about the last two weeks of its run. Ten performances can do that to you I guess. It's nice to finally have my weekends back and have time to relax with my new fiance. (More on that in a bit). I'll admit I've wondered off and on during this production of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, if I've missed one of my callings in life by not acting more. I really enjoy it and people seem to think I do an alright job. A lot of the cast have told over the coarse of the last few months that they were surprised that I haven't acted more or went to school for it. I guess I just take it as a casual hobby. My last big role period was in high school. I enjoyed it through and through, yet barely considered giving it another shot. Maybe I do need to start pursuing this lost passion of mine? That is the question. So for all that saw me this month, thanks for coming and I hope you enjoyed it. I'm glad Aaron Leu talked me into it!

So, somehow in between all of the practices and trips to and from here and there, last month I proposed to Lindsey! I won't bother with all the details here as you can find it on our Knot.com wedding page we set up last night. But know, we are very happy and excited. Our date is set for October 18th of this year. It's coming up quick. The main things are worked out which includes location of the wedding/reception/rehearsal dinner, our DJ, and our bridal party. And other misc things I'm not thinking of at the moment.

Other than that, I'm enjoying the nice weather... and you should too. Till next time..

Before I started writing this post I noticed the last entry on the front page of this blog was in May 0f last year. So basically, I've gone about a year to bump that post off the main site here. That's just pathetic! I need to write more. I am so caught up with my life that I feel as if I don't have time to write. The less I write, the less people will come here to read, and the less memories I'll preserve  for a long time. So in review from my last post here's the blog-roll:

1. Kimball came through. I was offered full-time towards the end of February.
2. Lindsey passed all of her CPA Tests. Hooray!
3. My newest alias is Mr. Tumnus.

Yes, Mr. Tumnus. The faun from the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. It's at Wagnalls May 9-26th under the direction of an old high school buddy of mine, Aaron Leu. Haven't been on the stage in years, but I'm excited to have a chance to act once more. It's been a blast so far.

And sorry, that's really all you'll get tonight. It's something though. I pray that I can find the inspiration to write again and express myself as I used to.

Amen.